Seth David: SuperAgent

So a little while back I was looking to cast my third project and a friend suggested I contact an agent he had been in contact with and see if he had any clients that could work for my roles. I wanted to make sure I had a great cast and so I shot him an email, looking for his help.

He was immediately helpful and interested in my project, he had a few actors lined up to come into my auditions. Talking with him on the phone was bit strange. He was really excited, too excited.

Little did I realize that I was getting in too deep with Seth David: SuperAgent.

Since then they guy has been relentless. (I didn't end up casting any of the actors he sent me for P3). He calls me and other USC students about how great all his clients are and how perfect they'd all be. He's so Hollywood it's ridiculous. And now I'm producing our class project and one of our cast members is a client of Seth David.

OK, so initially he tells me that this girl he thinks I should use "She's smoking hot. I mean, like, great body. And she's got chops, man. She can fucking act."

A bit much, sure. But in another of our many, many telephone conversations (he always calls me, never the other way around) in which he said he had a list of clients that he'd love to give me, up-and-coming actors he said. I told him that I was pretty much done casting for the semester, that I would spend the summer getting an internship to know LA better. Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

SETH - Oh? Where are you from originally?

ME - I'm from Chicago.

SETH - The windy city. I hear that. Rock n' roll.

ME - (speechless)

What the #$#@!?? I can't believe that this guy is for real. This is actually the way he speaks with people on the phone. And its not just me. Many classmates have had interactions with him and all can profess to his amazing streak of idiocy.

Recently I had a a conversation with him that convinced me this guy is so Hollywood that he couldn't have been born of a human mother. He must have been spawned asexually on the Walk of Fame. That's my only explanation. I was talking with him about a girl, his client, that my director wanted and had cast in the film. He said, of her:

"She's amazing. She can really act. She can cry. She can cry out of one eye. You tell her which one and she'll do it. I've seen it. It's fucking amazing."

Now, why the hell do I care about this? When would I ever need to say ' Well, your character is the type of person who cries out of her left eye, but not the right. If you cry out of your right eye you're breaking character.' ?!? It's absurd.

This guy has absolutely no judge of talent and probably all the intelligence of a bag of Skittles. And though USC students are the filmmakers of tomorrow (so we're told), we're still students and this Ari Gold-wannabe is spending way too much time and energy getting his actors jobs that pay copy, credit, and meals.

Granted, Seth David is a character that I must say I'm happy exists. I just can't believe he actually says the things he says. And with such conviction....

If anyone deserves their own reality show its probably Seth David. I can't wait to be finished with this damn 4th project so I (hopefully) never have to deal with Seth David again. But I'm, sure I will. As I told a friend (the one who recommended calling Seth in the first place) earlier tonight: You have released a plague on us all. May God have mercy.

Hell hath no fury like Seth David.