MGH McNuggets: Get 'em while they're hot!

In hoping to buck the tradition of making promises on the blog and not keeping them (see, the 40 / 40 pledge and the political blog), I'm going to try and begin a new tradition that will not go the way of "Dewey Defeats Truman" (still an excellent title for a political blog, I believe).

Since a ton of stuff happens that I'm not always able to write a bunch about, I'm going to try and just spout off about a bunch of stuff at once, much like one may see a sports writer do to fill a section of the paper without actually doing the work to write a cohesive article. In fairness, its also a simpler read...especially at 7am.

I'm going to tinker with the formatting, but hopefully I'm gonna get in the habit of doing this each weekend to be ready by Monday morning....hopefully.

From June 29

I don't know why Lou just sent Milton Bradley home for the day, the whole team is playing like a child that needs a time-out..... Ozzie Guillen is like that drunk guy who's really obnoxious and funny to watch, until he gets in your face...the all you want is to punch him..... One of the funniest things on the internet right now is Roger Ebert review of "Transformers II", he RIPS it apart ......I think the religion videos I made for Mr. Bremner's class were funnier than "YEAR ONE".....smarter, too...... There's only one Michael I cared about in the 80's and 90's, and his last name is Jordan........ it was funny in LA b/c on KISS the DJ was like "sad sad day in the music world...now here's some Flor Rida!" ......I watched the USA-BRAZIL game in a Brit pub in Santa Monica today, it was really crowded, all pulling for US..... at least USA scored more goals than the Cubs did runs....now THAT'S sad....... are all these periods annoying?...... or do they keep you reading..... Going to try and see Public Enemies opening night, I hope Bale doesn't use his Batman / John Connor voice the whole time....McG sucks...and is a tool.... Here's to hoping July has the Cubs playing better and decent films in the theaters.... and that I get Conan tickets....

Without Wisdom but a Lot Wiser

I didn't think it was all that bad at first.

I didn't even know it was out until the dentist told me so and began stitching up my tender gum.

When he finished, I looked at the tray and any doubt I had was whisked away when I saw it - bulgy and bloodied - sitting next to the various tools and instruments.

My wisdom tooth.

Once I saw it lying there I was emboldened since I felt so little pain and decided to snap a picture on my cell. I sent the pick to some friends in the industry (dental, not film) to hear back confirmation that I had weathered quite an operation. I was actually feeling pretty good. Not so much anymore.

Yesterday, I had my wisdom tooth out and began my summer job as a TA* for a USC summer class. And yesterday I felt pretty good. Today sucked.

I felt brave and strong yesterday: had my tooth out and dinna even hurt that much. I felt truly bad-ass in my own mind, going up to new students and teachers with an ice pack against my cheek as if to say "Yeah, I had a giant tooth YANKED out of my JAWBONE a few hours ago. But I'm here now...no biggie".

And it worked. Sure there was lots of blood and the pain seeped in at times but I soldiered through it. At home the bleeding got to be a bit much but I popped a teabag in my mouth and that helped. (Luckily, I thought better of posting on facebook "Mark has a teabag in his mouth") I barely ate anything all day, which was making me pretty tired, and hit the bed really early (for me), about 10.

But today has been bad - no longer bold, just tired. I have the pain and swelling but no giant ice pack to remind people how badass I am, just a bunch of students and teachers expecting me to do things. DONT THEY KNOW I'M IN PAIN HERE?!

I've eaten today...if you can call it eating. Barely able to open my jaw and chew, I have put myself on a diet most befitting a very old man or a baby chimpanzee. Soft foods....oatmeal for breakfast...a lunch of fries and a Frosty from Wendy's....soup and mashed potatoes for dinner.....mush mush mush....

And so now, as I sit here with my Frankenstein-gums and Brando-esque swollen cheek I look at that cell phone picture and cringe. I wondered at first why the dentists didn't hand the tooth over to me in a little baggie or jar, to keep as a pet or badge of honor.

Now I know. Because the thought of that giant chunk of calcium and enamel and nerves being ripped out of my goddamned SKELETAL FRAME just seems to intensify the pain.

I've just finished off my final spoon-meal of the day - a pomegranate frozen yogurt from Red Mango (it's a precursor to pinkberry...i don't know if we've got any in Chicago...) - and its given me just enough joy and soothing coldness that I've been able to share this highly heroic (yet extremely ordinary) tale with y'all.

Even though there's much to do, I think I may just pop a pain-killer and climb into to sweet comforts of sleep wishing that my grotesquely mangled mouth will be healed by morning.

Looking back at the cell phone pic from yesterday, I can't help but think how unwise it was to underestimate the grip that one little wisdom tooth held on me.

BLOG UPDATE: WISDOM TOOTH PHOTO! IT'S GRAPHIC AND GROSS!





*Incidentally, at USC's cinema school we are called SAs: Student Assistant. I think this is just because we do end up helping the students a lot more than the teachers: we send out reminder emails, get them set up with equipment, and act as general information kiosks for the novice film student. It's not a big deal, but it's kind of the slang and I may come home in August an start sentences like "When I was an SA..." I want people to know what I'm talking about. Or maybe everyone will just think I'm a tool for explaining all that.

Hyperbole We Can Believe In

I've found in the 18-odd months writing this blog its that mentioning Barack Obama on MGH is like tossing a grenade into a room full of fireworks and dynamite. But, with the Radio Correspondents dinner goin' down and a great new video on JIBJAB, I thinks its time to attempt to find a little common ground.

I take comedy very seriously. I think its one of the most amazing things in the world because it has the ability to trump, ridicule, and obliterate all the typical taboos of modern conversation, especially the dynamic duo of politics and religion.

I think the key to jokes that satirize the things people hold most dear is to zero in on something universal, and hit the right notes. When a joke comes from a purely partisan and political perspective (like the improv show that sprung up during last years GOP w/ Palin and Rudy) it's not as funny as when the joke is more truthful and everyone (with a sense of humor) can identify with.

That's why I think this new jibjab video is so great (as they always are) because it taps into the unbelievable love affair most of America has with Obama right now.

Jib-jab is the best at being even-handed, but careful watchers of Colbert and Stewart know that even though they have their lefty leanings they (and I) are ruled by one immutable ideology:

COMEDY is KING



*and yes, in the first paragraph I did refer to this blog as MGH. deal with it.

Drag Me to Health

You may have noticed some feelings of anger or discontent against chocolaty, sugary mocha coffee drinks recently... specifically in my last post.

I guess the reasoning behind it is that, after a semester of producing - with it's late nights, early mornings, long days and brief moments of relaxing and splurging - the first few months of '09 were not the "healthiest".

As summer approaches, with its promise of days in the sun and nights on the prowl, I have started taking steps to becoming healthier.

Notice how I said healthier, and not "healthy".

This is a big deal. I don't know if I ever want to be completely "healthy". Shit, I don't even know what that would be. But healthier I can do: change beef burgers to turkey burgers (or grilled chicken), bread and buns from white to wheat, 2% to skim, regular Coke to....

Nope! That is where I've decided to draw the line. And I think a line must be drawn. I won't start drinking Diet Coke. Nor will I stop drinking beer (I may cut down a bit, but never stop). And damnit, I'm still gonna have a chocolate shake every once and a while.

I know that I could start forcing drinking Diet Coke. Hell, after a while I may get used to it, even like it. I've been reading one of these health-type books and the self-testimonial author says - "after a few weeks of eating healthy, not only did I start to like eating healthy, but found I no longer had a taste for my old greasy temptation foods".

I shudder at the thought. I don't care what happens - the day that I don't want to eat a bunch of deep dish from Giordono's or a choco shake from Portillo's is a sad, dark day for Mark J. Kosin.

Obviously, this is going to make my summer-long quest to drop some fat and add some muscle tissue a little more difficult, as there will always be certain pleasures in life that I will not forgo. But I'm sure that I can figure something out. Especially since I know some many people who are semi-healthy. BTW - feel free to throw all kinds of contradictory advice* at me on the blog and in person.

Just remember, I'm not trying to be healthy. Just healthier.


*On the note of conflicting advice, one of my favorite lines ever about our health conscious society comes from the amazing LEWIS BLACK.

It's a Wonderful Lifé

So, one of the more recent advertising campaigns that has been nearly impossible to not notice around L.A. recently (and the world, I presume) is McDonald's new McCafé line of coffee products. McDonald's has chosen to inform us of their wonderful new products with all the discretion and subtlety of a Micheal Bay movie: there's been bus ads, newspaper ads, magazine ads, bus stop ads, billboards, and a 4 story tall McCafé mocha drink busting out of a building I drive past on the way to my internship.

And of course, the TV and radio spots. The TV ads are my favorite - they usually tell people to "McCafé your Day!", which usually involves them buying one of McD's new McCafé drinks and (surprise, surprise) the product vastly improves the lives of those who purchased it.

I especially like the ads where people are doing lame, boring chores or work and then they buy a drink and McD's adds an accent mark and that makes it fun or classy - commute become commuté, chore becomes choré. Ignoring the grammatical pitfalls of such reckless use of the accent mark, I think McD's is also saying something very insulting to its customers.

Essentially, they are like: "your life sucks, and the only way to add a pitiful amount of joy into it is to suck on one of our caffeine-loaded, sugar-filled, 300+ calorie mocha drinks while you execute the same boring routine you do every day, giving you a moment of happiness while you plod along to an painful death brought on from Diabetes from drinking too many McCafé mocha drinks".

Maybe I'm overreacting a bit about it, but it realy seems strange that McD's shows boring people doing boring things while drinking their new McCafé drinks. What happened to the clasic "i'm lovin' it" campaign that showed snazzy hipsters eating from McD's Dollar Menu because they are too poor to buy better food? Now THAT was an ad campaign I got behind.

This new thing is just lame. Or should I say, it's lamé.

L.A. LAW

So, earlier this week I did battle with a formidable foe: the Los Angeles court system.

Now, dont freak out. It was a small, incredibly stupid thing - last Dec I got a ticket for driving with a headlamp out. All I had to do was let the City of Los Angeles know that I had gotten it fixed...so simple....right?

This was such a tour de force in bureaucracy it'd be funny if it wasn't so sad (or it'd be sad if it wasn't so funny).

First step was taking my car to an inspection station of sorts set up by the sheriff's dept. i pull my car in this big empty garage, theres one little office with tinted windows. Nobody, repeat: nobody, was in the garage area. i went into the office and handed my ticket to the most disinterested sheriff in LA County. Our exchange:

sheriff - [glances at ticket] what was the problem?

mk- I had a head lamp out.

sheriff- You fix it?

mk- [motioning to car] yes....

sheriff- [ignoring] .....fifteen dollars.

So I handed him my $15 in cash and he gave me a piece of paper saying that i paid, and i headed to the court building without anyone ever actually confirming that my headlamp had been fixed.

i go inside and the security guard vaguely directs me to the left side of a massive, impersonal room that looks like something out of "The Conformist". Out of the two lines i pick the shorter one. Shorter, but that moves excrutiatingly slower. And then, you get in the one line for so long and you get nervous like its the wrong line but theres no one there to help or ask questions...and then you FINALLY get there and its the wrong line.

So I head from the GC line to the cashier line (even though I already paid my $15). The cashier line was frighteneing. The people at this place...its like someone took all the buses in LA and said "you guys are too weird for the bus" and put them in this line. One guy briefly left the line so that he could go fish a discarded mcdonalds bag from the garbage can....

now, this is the point where i wanted to get out as fast as possible. but sweet lady government had other plans. after waiting in this line for 35 min (total running time is 1:25 now) i get told to go upstairs, to the fourth floor, to departmet 63. defeated and broken i head to the fourth floor.

i got up there and saw a line to my left. walked up and asked what line it was and was told it was the line for department 64. course, me being intelligent, i had elected NOT to write down which department i was supposed to head to, and just ASSUMED that it was department 64.

bad idea. after waiting in the dept 64 line for 20 min, I headed to the line for dept 63.

reaching the 3 hr mark now, waiting in line #4, (oh and having left my lunch in the car, thinking this would take under an hour, hungry as hell) is when a tremor shook the building ever so slightly. it wasnt a big quake at all, just shook the ground a bit, but it made me think "if i get killed waiting in this freaking line, i'm going to punch the first spook i see on the other line"

luckily, i didnt die, and was able to mercily reach the FINAL window and tell the city that i had paid someone fifteen dollars to "check" my headlamp.

hate to dump this litany of unfortunate events on everyone, but who doesnt love insights into our wonderful American bureaucracy?

department 63...department 64......

WTF?!??!?

Since I've Been Gone

Hello everybody!

Man, am I lame - after all kinds of blustering about writing 40 blog posts in a row I go ahead and take almost a whole month off.

Anyway, I'm able to meekly return to the blogosphere now because ...... (DRUM ROLL PLEASE)....

THE CAROUSEL DOCUMENTARY IS FINISHED!

That's right, last Friday night - May 8th - at 7:30pm, "Round and Round" made its first debut to the film community at USC's Norris Cinema theater in front of roughly 400 students, parents, subjects, faculty, non-fiction enthusiasts and one very lost old man in a Lakers jersey.

Crowd response was very positive for this highly-anticipated expose on the fascinating world of merry-go-rounds (yikes, I've been writing way too much press for this damn thing). Since the I last posted we had just been picture-locking I won't go over everything I've been up to since then, but let's just say I wasn't twiddling my thumbs and whistling "Dixie".

In fact, all that needs to be said is I will do my best to bring a copy of the doc home to Chicago when I come back in early June. Hopefully, I'll be able to organize a screening and everyone can see what the hell I've been up to the last 5 months.

Now, other than a few final producorial duties, I'll be able to turn my attention back to fiction films, tv, sports, eating, drinking, sleeping, and, most importantly, WRITING.

I think its going to be a busy summer, but I'm going to try and keep this thing going from the bright nights of June through the dog days of August. So stay tuned for a wealth of fascinating commentary about life, love, film, food, culture, art, entertainment, politics, people, and places.

Although, let's be honest, it'll probably just degrade into more bitching about the Cubs within a week or so.

Damn, it's already begun.

-MJK