Yep, just wanted to take a few minutes to share with you the terrifying secret that is so conveniently hidden by all your favorite TV shows that love to "glamorize" LA, such as Entourage, Access Hollywood and Yes, Dear.
Can't let that secret get out- would so many young starry-eyed hopefuls trek across the country to Cali if they knew they'd be going to a land without freshly baked (most of the time) donuts and coffee that is a couple of notches above gas station java? I THINK NOT.
It was strange and took a while to notice. First it was like, "I can't find a Dunkin Donuts". Then you start to realize that all the donuts shops in LA are these dirty, oddball non-chain donuts shops that have names that sound less like tasty breakfast stops and more like brands of baby food: Winchell's...Spudnuts.....Yum-Yum....?!
I mean, seriously, this is how I'm supposed to start my morning? While I'm not saying that DD is gourmet, there is a certain cache to that logo that spends so much time behind MVP Patriots QB Tom Brady.
Certainly, you'd never see those golden locks and devil-may-care smile standing in front of a backdrop advertising "Donut Star" at Pico and Sepulveda. F--- that.
Anyway, the first time I brought it up with other Midwest/ East Coasters minds were blown: it was like we were debating whether or not we were in the Matrix...."No man, there HAS to be a Dunkin Donuts somewhere..... that's just ....not POSSIBLE".
Oh, but it is.
After much searching and rumor-mongering- "I saw one over by the airport....I heard there's a few in Orange County...I was at one last Sunday!" -pathetic attempts by the weak to ignore the reality that lay in front of them- finally the cold truth came to light when multiple searches were conducted on the DD website store locator. *the multiple searches thing was ridiculous: do we really expect major flaws in the DD search engine? Like the system just "forgot" a state?
But after a while I uncovered a map that revealed the final word, and a few more truths about the great discrepancy of DDs in New England vs the Rest of the Country. Apparently if you say "P-ahk the c-ah" and drink too much, you nurse your hangovers with Dunkin.
The funny thing is I never thought Dunkin Donuts was all that special or delicious but it was just always there. I've realized now that DD fills a very important need of bridging the gap between hoity-toity lattes of Starbucks and the rock bottom swill from the Circle K. Its not the best way to start your morning, but a morning that starts with Dunkin can't be all that bad. I mean, if you had a Dunkin eclair or choco-sprinkles at 8am, you're not killing yourself at 9:30. Why would you? There's donuts!
But DD is not here anymore and I miss it. Its not up there with Portillo's or Gioradano's in terms of "Gotta Have It"-ness, but when I'm back in CHI and need a warm, comfortable, and economic way to start the day, you better believe that I'm gonna be running on Dunkin.
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