No, I'm talking about the big "O" that has been populating the networks of NBC the past two weeks, and has taught America to develop a "Phelps Fetish", find a smoggier city than Los Angeles, and continue to find Tiki Barber annoying.
It's the Olympics!
Now, unfortunately, I haven't been able to watch as much of the games as I'd like. It is great that many of the games are on really late: nothing like a bar full of guys watching 15-year old Chinese gymnasts at 1 in the morning.....
But the real underlying excitement for these games, at least from my perspective, is the "in-the-back-of-the-mind" thoughts about how great a certain city would be at hosting these very same Olympic games, approximately eight years from now.
That's right gang, it's time to get excited about CHICAGO 2016.
Now I think everyone is on the bus, but for those who aren't, let's picture how awesome this would be:
For two weeks (really, more than that) the eyes of the world would be upon our glittering skyline, the clocks of all nations would ignore Greenwich Mean and set their second-hands to the tick of Central Standard, the bars of our fair city would be populated with athletic, competitive young females from around the world, and would probably love to find some "American Boy" to show them around the city...
Okay, probably not. But cute international girls are only one argument for why the 2016 Olympic torch should find its final destination in the Windy City. Infrastructure overhauls, international business attention, and a golden opportunity to revitalize the South Side are just a few more reasons we need to get behind this thing.
And if anyone out there says anything like "oh my god, imagine the traffic" or "it's a waste of money" or "hey, I like Tiki Barber", well, you just sound stupid. And lame.
Because cities hold Olympic for many reasons. Sometimes its because they want to move from obscurity to the world stage (Barcelona-1992, Los Angeles-1932), sometimes its because they want to show the world "Hey, we're not evil" (Berlin-1936, Beijing-2008) and sometimes its because someone lost a bar bet (Atlanta-1996). But Chicago 2016 would be more than that. It would be an opportunity for our city and our country to define the next century, much like Chicago did in 1893 with the World's Columbian Exposition.
For those who don't know about the 1893 World's Fair (first, Wikipedia it), then know that it was arguably the greatest feat ever accomplished by any city. It defined Chicago as the "Second City" that rose out of the ashes of the fire in 1871, and framed America as the world's leader in industry, ingenuity, and innovation.
Now, I'm not saying that the Olympics would necessarily do all that, but in an America that is frighteningly fractured, and doesn't seem to have gotten together on anything since September 11th, wouldn't it be nice to put the flags out and get all "America: F#ck yeah!" again without there being a terrorist attack?
And wouldn't it be nice for Chicago, who, like in 1893, is setting new standards of architecture and urban planning, to be the showcase for what America is going to be in the next 100 years?
Plus, let's not forget about those sexy ladies of the Olympics. They can...
a) ...handle my javelin...
b)...bump, set, and spike me...
c)...smack my shuttlecock...
d)...mount my balance beam...
...anytime!
PS: Have any more sexually suggestive Olympic phrases? We need more! Send them to:
OLYMPIC INNUENDOS
MARK'S GONE HOLLYWOOD INC.
61 OZONE AVE, Suite #004
VENICE, CA 90291
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My comment has nothing to do with this entry but rather that annoying photo of Obama you posted a while back. Today was the last first day of classes for me at CU, yes that liberal mecca that Obama probably wishes he could be the mayor of in addition to being the President. Today is also the first day of the DNC down in Denver. As you might expect I assumed I would be harassed by liberals and Obama supporters trying to get me to sign away my life to "Change" and other stupid ideas, but I was pleasantly surprised to only be told I was going to hell by two crazy people with big signs. Even more surprising however was that I have two professors that seem to be members of the Republican party or at the very least not die hard democrats, a hard thing to find in the bubble surrounded by reality aka Boulder, CO. Both are Political Science profs and both defended the Bush presidency. I couldn't believe my ears especially since the democrats are supposedly seizing the west, hence the choice of Denver. So Mark the purpose of this was to save you from making a big mistake by voting for Obama, if Boulder can change that much over a summer you can too before the November election. I will leave you with the opening statement one of my profs made today
"Everybody hands on your wallets. The Democrats are in town and you don't want them pick pocketing your money and redistributing it among us all equally. Well at least I don't." Yes Mark that was said by a professor at Boulder. Hopefully you didn't crap your pants with astonishment. If you did watch out for the shit that will be coming out of Obama's mouth on Thursday.
P.S. I took personal satisfaction by spoiling the Biden choice to many a Democrats in Boulder a week before he was picked. How did I know you ask? David Axelrod has a loose mouth, never tell him a secret. Seriously he was the source.
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