CARMAGGEDON UPDATE! - feelin' fine

Yeah, so right now everything is smooth sailing in L.A. People were sufficiently terrified to go anywhere or do anything last night and today and all the major highways are as clear and open as a theater showing 'The Green Lantern'.

In other "LA transportation ridiculousness" news, saw this story today in the L.A. Times with the appropriately mocking headline - "IN L.A., A SNACK SHOP IN A SUBWAY STATION COUNTS AS NEWS"

Here's the full online article, pretty much talking about how L.A.'s subway system finally has a water-coffee-newspaper shop in it. You know, the kind of shop that is usually IN EVERY BUSY SUBWAY/ 'L' STATION IMAGINABLE.

Sometimes its pretty unfathomable that this is the second largest city in America. Anyway, here's the story....

In L.A., a snack shop in a subway station counts as news

Commuters and urban-development watchers cheer a small snack shop's opening at the 7th Street/Metro Center station. Such outlets are common in other cities, but this seems to be L.A.'s one and only.

A mirror reflects the entrance to the 7th Street/Metro Center subway station, where Rush Snack Bar owner Andrew Cohen talks on his cellphone. He expects to open the shop sometime this weekend. (Bob Chamberlin / Los Angeles Times / July 16, 2011)

By Nita Lelyveld, Los Angeles Times

July 16, 2011

The dreamers of downtown are sensitive, even to the smallest shifts.

Brigham Yen was among the first to feel the one at 7th and Hope streets, 16 steps beneath the surface of the sidewalk.

When he documented it on his blog about a month ago, the news spread fast to others tracking downtown development.

"Wow, this is almost too good to be true!" one reader commented. "This is very awesome news," agreed another.

The object of their glee, still under construction: a small shop with a glass front and a young owner who planned to sell coffee, fresh-squeezed juices, salads and sandwiches.

The excitement, however, was not over what Andrew Cohen would serve.

In subway stations all over the world, travelers can buy things — newspapers and magazines, coffee and candy bars, aspirin, tissues, cough drops, and even, in some places, meals. That hasn't been the case in L.A., which has rankled boosters who want this city to hold its own against the big boys, above and below ground.

Rush Snack Bar, which Cohen expects to open sometime this weekend, will be the first retail establishment underground in a Los Angeles Metro station.

Or close enough.

It is, in fact, a former basement storage unit for 655 Hope, an apartment building that used to house offices but now bills itself as "the ultimate urban living experience," with "live-work, flexi-space units" and kitchens of "stainless steel motif."

The shop is not on Metro property. And it's not on a subway platform. But it fronts a corridor leading in and out of the 7th Street/Metro Center station, and those entering or exiting on the Hope side will pass it, going up or down the stairs.

To Yen, a self-described "transit and urban geek," that's worth celebrating.

"I just feel there's not a lot of love for this city. I think the city needs cheerleaders. It's important to be rah rah rah, and really kind of focus on the steps that are made in the right direction instead of the two steps backward," said Yen, a 30-year-old sales agent for the online real-estate brokerage Redfin.

"I've looked at stations in New York and Madrid and other cities. They are so cool. They have all these shopping options and eateries. L.A. is more utilitarian," he said. "So when I saw the snack bar, I just about flipped. I was like, 'Wow, this is symbolic. This is what other cities have.' I like to call it urban maturity, L.A. maturing."

Cohen, 24, had hoped to open Friday — in time for the big "Carmageddon" weekend, when some subway lines would operate for free. He passed his health inspection. His two staffers came in early on opening day. The place looked spiffy with its blackboard menu, bright reds and yellows, and wall of urban-chic reclaimed wood planks. He looked hip too, in dark jeans and a fitted blue and black lumber shirt.

He spoke of pulling inspiration from European travels, and said he'd offer discounts for Metro riders and Metro employees.

"People are telling me that it's revolutionary," he said of the little shop.

But he was having a sort of Barmageddon — a malfunctioning cash register, a front-window sign slow to arrive — that left his actual moment of opening uncertain.

Still, at morning rush hour, hundreds of people paused to look — lawyers wearing suits, young fashion and design students wearing hardly anything.

Some lifted bikes up the stairs. Others spit in the corridor's trash bins or dug around for scraps. One woman in a swimmingly large T-shirt, worn jeans and flip-flops said loudly to no one and everyone, "How do you like that? There's going to be snacks."

It's the smallest of shifts, a blip, a pebble plopped in the ocean. But it has been noted.

- - -  - - - -  - - - - 

That's it from the land of La-La. Enjoy your weekend in a normal city, Chicago!

MK

CARMAGGEDON!!!

So, for all those friends and family who are on the verge of enjoying yet another GORGEOUS summer weekend in the city of Chicago, I want to alert you to an unspeakable evil that is about to envelope Los Angeles tonight (no, not 'The Kardashians' they're.....they're always here).

No, the epic, frightening, "Katrina-esque" hardship coming our way is the event known as CARMAGGEDON.

Now, I don't know if this news has traveled all the way to Chicago, much less east of the 210 freeway, but one of L.A.'s biggest and most crucial freeways - the 405 - is being shut down for two whole days beginning at midnight tonight (midnight, of course, is the most epic deadline time to set, whether its getting home before the carriage turns into pumpkin or finding the deed for Toontown).

This complete shutdown is expected to create traffic havoc across all of Los Angeles as the cars who would be on the 405 fan out to alternative routes, further clogging L.A.'s already overcrowded streets. I mean, this thing is like a man in desperate need of a cholesterol reduction seeing how many Culver's Bacon-Butterburgers he can eat in an hour.

This trafficapocalypse has been Micheal Bay'd into the term CARMAGGEDON.

Cue appropriate music!

People all over L.A. have been freaking out and the city is doing its best to put the fear of God (or, whatever L.A.'s many atheists would be afraid of) into residents into staying home or leaving town to hopefully lessen the congestionopolis.

I have been getting a really big kick out of the whole thing because I've never felt closer to my fellow Los Angelinos. The thing is, for a city that barely shares the same air, let alone any kind of collective experience, CARMAGGEDON has really given everyone - from the slickest, coked-up agent to the lowliest background actor - a common topic of conversation. Nowhere is that more true than in my 'hood of Venice, because the whole of the Westside will be ground zero for the CAR-trastrophe.

Here's a map I found online that is very helpful for navigating the disturbances.

From 'A' to 'B' is what is going to be completely closed. Now, as you can see, Venice is right in the F*CKED zone. To make things trickier, I often travel from the F*CKED Zone to the area that is S.O.L. (Shit Outta Luck)...so you can see how this could disrupt my weekend plans.


But, how often does one get to be in a city going through such a massive crisis of transportation, infrastructure, AND identity?

I think that's what's really going on. L.A. is being forced to stare its Automotive Addiction right in its ugly smog-filled face. I mean, there is NO WAY to get from the Valley to the Westside other than driving. No trains or decent alternative routes are available and it's just a reminder of how messed up this city is. But, meh- that just the way things are out here.

I will attempt to flee the F*CKED Zone entirely by escaping today to the Eastside of L.A., where I will be taking a bit of a 'Staycation' in a friend's apartment who'll be out of town. I'll often go to the Eastside for a night every so often, but now I am taking my "casual sex" relationship with the Los Feliz/Silverlake area to a new level by spending a whole weekend together. Now, don't think this means I'm getting a divorce from Venice...just taking a little break....JFK used to do that all the time.

Confusing neighborhood-sexual metaphors notwithstanding, I'm hoping I don't feel too left out staying half a city away from the swamp of congestion. I do always enjoy these ridiculous "problems" that usually get way overblown (see my report on the Santa Monica Tsunami), but only because they provide such rich material to make funny things, and CARMAGGEDON is no exception.

Case in point, this rather brilliant video of Hilter raving about the 405 Closure... (The HITLER RANTS video from 'Downfall' has been used on everything from sports catastrophes to bad movies to...the actual rants themselves), but this one is really pretty good and painfully filled with local L.A. jokes.

This part about people living downtown LA is pretty on the money.

Keep tuned to the Twitter for all the CARMAGGEDON updates you don't care about because you'll probably be at  Cubs game or a cool street festival or on a boat on Lake Michigan instead of a stupid burnt-out city desperately trying to fix its infrastructure that will probably be destroyed by an giant earthquake in the next five years anyway!

On the Blog Again...

Well, there's never any post I hate writing more than the one after taking a month or more off for some or no good reason.

I had good reasons, though, and I'm going to do my best to recap the past month or so as succinctly and humorously as possible with a little thing I'd like to call "Highpoint - Midpoint - Lowpoint."

Hopefully, just going over these three things will give a slightly accurate portrayal of each event. I'm going to run a test case first....

FOR EXAMPLE: 'Jurassic Park'

Highpoint: EVERYTHING...but especially "Clever girl..."

Midpoint: "Mommy can you see the fleas?"

Lowpoint: they shoot the raptor and Hammond's all like "Noooo!" Dude, your grandkids are about to get eaten.

Okay, that kind of works...here we go

USC SCHOOL OF CINEMATIC ARTS GRADUATION

Highpoint: Toy Story 3 director Lee Unkrich's speech. Highlights include "I was rejected from USC" and "You will all fail. I hope you fail soon." Amazing. Perfect.

Midpoint: Sumner Redstone's speech, with a BAHSTON accent so thick it could have been selling peanuts at Fenway PAHK.

Lowpoint: pre-ceremony flask whiskey fill-up in bathroom (also highpoint!)

TRIP TO VEGA$

Highpoint: The Spa at Ceasar's Palace. No question. The pool is a close 2nd.

Midpoint: Losing yet again at my beloved game of roulette. Just didnt get my numbers.

Lowpoint: "This weekend can be summed up as a series of poor decisions and bad luck."

SAN DIEGO HALF MARATHON

Highpoint: Um, finishing? (also post-race drinking)

Midpoint: 6.55 miles

Lowpoint: Running past the mall with the Cheesecake Factory. Really SD? this is the best route you could come up with? All that ocean and I'm running past a Cheesecake Factory? Can't wait to run a real route...Chicago 2012...full 26.2 mi, anyone?


VERY BRIEF TRIP TO CHICAGO

Highpoint: Dinner at Chicago Q w/ fam and beers at Nick & Kelly's.


Midpoint: Burgers at the Billy Goat.

Lowpoint: Russ going beard-to-beard with a crazy homeless White Sox fan outside of Daily's.

JOSE'S THESIS SHOOT - "UNSETTLED" IN WISCONSIN/ CHICAGO


Highpoint: EVERYTHING. Seriously. Filming in the Midwest + great friends + a shocking amount of alcohol. Can't wait to start making stuff in CHI. If forced to pick standout highpoint, I'd say the Wisconsin wrap party complete with party bus.


Midpoint: Some people got slapped.


Lowpoint: When it was over. Also, my being identified with 'salad' the entire shoot and beyond.

FAM VACAY IN AZ


Highpoint: Smores.


Midpoint: Pool.


Lowpoint: Stepping into a cactus.

4TH OF JULY


Highpoint: EVERYTHING. Its America's birthday. Fireworks @Dodger Stadium were pretty good.


Midpoint: Pool.


Lowpoint: 30 minutes for a goddammed Dodger Dog. I hate LA.



So that's it. I actually really like this game. I think I'll use it whenever I hear a long and probably boring story coming...just interrupt: "Um, yeah...can you just gimmie the highpoint-midpoint-lowpoint? I've got blogging to do...."

Anyway, that's been the last few weeks. You may notice a distinct lack of entertainment industry-related events going on...that will change...more USC posts to come and info about the dark and stormy post-grad waters ahead....

Feel free to highpoint-midpoint-lowpoint this post!

- mk

USC Moment #4 - Acclimating with Cocaine, Heroin, and Gun Violence

After taking a lengthy hiatus from looking back to, uh, you know, graduate, I'm going to try and run through these top moments at USC before the fading nostalgia quickly morphs into vitriolic bitterness.

ANYWAY, for my fourth fave USC film school moment I'm going all the way back to my first semester...good ole' spring of 2008. Back then, a promising young Senator from Illinois was stunning pundits with big wins in Iowa despite being a radical Muslim born in Kenya, the Cubs were looking good early on with mutterin' sputterin' Lou Piniella leading the way, and a very select percentage of cultured Americans were making jokes about drinking milkshakes.

I had been enjoying my whole USC experience so far but still felt an overriding sense of doubt. Did I really belong here? Am I ever going to get over bars closing at 2am? Is it really as hard as people say? That's what she said. Overall, I was rolling along, making movies and sh*t, but still feeling out of place in the land of palm trees and freeways.

Those feelings of doubt went away when something kinda cool happened - my very first film project at USC was selected to be shown to the whole class.

We had a class called "510", where our whole semester class came together to get insight from real-live industry professionals (who were also almost all current USC professors, but that's not so bad..right?) and it was okay, for the most part. Some offered real insight and others were boring as hell. But when the great and insightful editor extraordinaire Norm Hollyn asked for us to submit our projects to examine good and bad editing, I actually got a little excited.


I dropped off a DVD of my first 507 project- a dialogue-free 5 minute short. "507" was the class where you made a bunch of movies by yourself and it was crazy and you made fast friends (or enemies) and got essentially thrown into the "ring of fire" as far as production was concerned. Nowadays, most of the 507 films are like the shuttered-away stepchildren we all like to keep hidden from our new friends and usually end up being embarrassing when they come out in a social situation. Back then though, they were the bees knees!

So lo and behold my surprise some two weeks later when Norm announced he was going to show my dark comedy film to the whole class. I went to the front and Norm said "We probably won't watch the whole thing" (I had made the USC classic "Five-Minute Short Film" with a running time of over eight minutes).

But, we watched it all the way to end. I thought that was the coolest fucking thing in the world.

And- holy shit- people actually laughed.

And not because it was a poorly-made over-acted drama piece. It was a comedy and people seemed to like it.

Now, lets be clear, it means nothing now and meant very little then, except that it was a little sigh of relief that "I may very well be okay here". The class proceeded to pick apart my editing problems but just to be in the mix was really nice. I mean, here I had a real Hollywood features editor suggesting that I maybe should have put the heroin scene after the jerking off scene. Or, maybe I should have intercut the jerking off, the heroin, and the cocaine all together! They were all really good suggestions for changes! (I never made them)

We watched another short (which was really good and charming and funny) and then class ended. I felt invigorated by the showing. I knew we had some really good filmmakers in our class, just in our little section alone with talent like @coog510 and more and so even to be up there and having gotten a few laughs was a real big thrill and made me feel like I could do the kind of comedy I like writing AND people may like it.

I mean, at the end of the day, all this effort of writing/ directing/ producing/ camera operating/ casting/ editing/ getting coffee/ paperwork/  running late/ being stressed/ not sleeping/ asking 'Why God, why?' is all just so that whatever I'm making can get seen by other people and hopefully bring out some kind of a reaction. Ideally a positive one.

It was a moment that, like a super-mushroom on your first lap in a game of MarioKart 64, just gave me a nice and needed boost early on in film school and gave me confidence when I embarked on more ambitious projects down the line.

I decided to finally share this rookie endeavor with the world and now its up on my snazzy Vimeo page, you can watch it here:

http://vimeo.com/24206861

Man, if I could just talk to the excited, nervous, idealistic, Hawaiian-shirt-wearing film student who made that short I'd beat him to within an inch of his life and tell him to start working harder if he ever wants to make it in this town. Then I'd tell him to make a massive bet for the Blackhawks to win the Stanley Cup in two years.

God, what a shmuck that guy who used to be me was. But at least he made a decently funny movie.

- mk

pomp / circumstance

Graduation was yesterday.

And that's all you're going to hear about it!

So, how bout this weather?


JUST KIDDING.

There's obviously a lot to say about graduating yesterday, but I don't really want to get into talking about graduation and look back at my time at USC until I've....taken a look back at my time at USC. See, I got these other moments recapping the ride I've been on the last 3 1/2 years that I want to get into...and will.

They may just come all in a week or so...I just know things should be a little bit easier now that I don't to deal with all the formalities.

THE POMP.


THE CIRCUMSTANCE.

ETC...

More to come! 

April is the Cruelest Month

And that's not just the immortal words of T.S. Elliot talkin'!

From what I've heard Chicago has been really rainy recently...

How rainy was it!?


it was so rainy that Mayor Daley decided to start taxing puddles! 


[click here]


it was so rainy the Chicago River almost looked like it was made of real water!

[click here]

it was so rainy that the outfield walls of Wrigley Field were covered in kelp!

[click here]

Ah, just a little Carson-esque fun. A laugh is needed though, because April has been a month of little fun and laughs. In addition to the wet weather in CHI, I have my own downpour of work to attend to here in L.A. (I won't say how the weather has been out here, but lets just say it rhymes with kleventy and trunny).

Its been a very busy month - I've been working overtime to get my scripts as close to "show ready" as possible, and there's been a great amount of work here and events back home that I don't want to get into at this time. But it has been rough.

I do feel bad because I was getting so much more in the swing of things with the blog and haven't been able to share some of the few bright spots of this month and keep up on my Top 5 USC moments.

So, just wanted to drop this post so I didn't go the entire month of April without a word.

This year has been just as much work as I set out to do, and I am proud of what I've accomplished so far this semester, but there's still a lot to do. The next two weeks will be a real blur as far as getting anything done, but hopefully I can find some time to keep this thing a bit more updated as we head into May.

Many, many things happening and I want to try and get it all down as much as possible.

Wrapping up for now - I've still got my feature to polish up - but here's hoping that May brings a little more joy, a little less work and whole lot more SUN.


-mk

USC Moment #5 - Jon Favreau is So Money, Baby

Ya know, in my years at USC I've had a couple of pretty worthless professors (some of the "those that can't do, teach" variety), countless Red Tape Wars on everything from class schedules to copyrights, and have spent enough money to save between 10-12 starving villages in Africa (I did the math. Sorry Kymabai, Kenya! Got movies to make!). But, despite those problems (and many, many more), overall I have felt incredibly fortunate and thrilled to have spent my last three years in at the over-groomed outpost of excess that sits in a sea of urban blight known as USC.

Now, as I mentioned a little while back, I'm taking (Brokaw voice here-->) "a look back, at the top five moments I've had at USC's illustrious and overpriced School of Cinematic Arts." 

My #5 top moment of these past years of USC film school is when Jon Favreau came to campus to talk about IRON MAN and me and a few friends were lucky enough to be clued into it.

Now, there's been a LOT of celebrity filmmaker types who've slummed it into USC's stuck-in-the-1970s iron gates all these past few years. LEGENDARY types. Plus, plenty of really famous alumni. So, with all due respect, why put this guy in the Top 5?

Taking a Matt Dillon-esque tone....

What the Hell is Jon Favreau doing here?

Well, to begin, I want to set the mood a little bit. This was back in the 508 semester (Fall '08) and my friend Jose was assisting for a class that was studying the film IRON MAN and had invited a select few (Smug Alert) friends to the "Favreau class" that night. Now this class was held in a cramped little room in the old, crappy community college-esque Lucas Building, with probably a capacity closer to 25-30 versus the usual 300 that would pack regular big speaker events in the cavernous Norris Theater.

The quarters were so tight you could almost smell the Downey Jr. on him. With such a small setup, Favreau didn't just speak to us, he spoke with us--it was a conversation as close and casual as chatting with a friend at a movie or that annoying guy in the edit lab.

Maybe because of this much more informal setting (more likely irregardless of it) I found it incredibly easy to relate to Favreau and think that "as brilliant as this guy is, he's also a lot like me. Maybe I could be him someday!...not in a creepy 'Mr. Ripley' sort of way or a wacky 'Being John Malkovich' thing, but I could be like him...I could end up making entertainment for a living...maybe".

Why exactly did this relate-ability come across? 

Mostly, because Favreau could not hide how much of a total fanboy he was. Granted, anyone who makes movies is a movie fan, but Favreau wore his obsessive, nerdy fan-ness like a badge of honor: quoting the Simpsons, geeking out over visiting Skywalker ranch, and talking about how surreal it was for him to helm a giant action picture like "Iron Man".

"It's like this big machine, with all these moving parts..." he said about directing Iron Man. "its an unstoppable force--the release date is set: MAY 2ND---and you just have to try and guide it as best you can."

He talked about how different the epic scale of Iron Man was vs. the run-and-gun scrappiness of making an indie film like "Swingers"...at which point I'm thinking..."I'm scrappy! I have guns in my movies...and I run".

He told stories from his early days about being cramped in tiny locations and making split decisions when everything seemed to be falling apart, while also joking around with actors and having a general blast on set. "Now", he said "things are a bit more organized and professional. You can't be making all kinds of on-the-fly decisions when the scene you're shooting that day has been in pre-viz by the VFX people for the past 10 months".


That was what really did it for me: to think that Jon Favreau - who was now an audience-tested, studio-approved A-list director - was once running around, doing shit on the fly, creating and owning his own material, and generally making movies as a guy who's a total nerd for movies.

It was really inspiring, to put not-to-corny spin on it all.

Plus, he was just so f$#*ing C O O L. Favreau was laid back, funny, happy to be there, talked to people after, and just came off as an all-around nice guy. This was also good news, because you often get the idea that evreryone who works in movies is a complete and total dick who like to throw hot coffee on underlings or send Native Americans to pick up awards for them....geez, talk about LAZY.

So just seeing that he was outwardly a pretty regular guy (but still a BRILLIANT storyteller inside) and that he had certain experiences that had, in some ways, mirrored my own - made his visit really stand out to this day...obviously.

BUT, all that "inspiration" and "he's a nice guy" stuff still may not be enough to get to Top 5 range, and the cherry on top came after he spoke.

I split cuz I was incredibly stressed that night (week, month, semester) with 508 and didn't stick around to bend his ear any more. While I was walking back to my car I passed the USC "special guest" parking spots and there it was - a beautiful, silver, straight-off-the-showroom floor Maserati. Parking pass on the dash - "JON FAVREAU"....

Hell yeah!

It was so choice. If you have the means I highly recommend picking one up.

So yeah - he's cool, he makes awesome movies, he's a fanboy, he used to be a run-and-gun filmmaker and he now he drives a kick-ass Mas.

TOP. FIVE.

Then, after standing in admiration for while - and mentally debating "hanging around" the car for an extended amount of time....eventually realizing that'd be both creepy and a little bit threatening...even though Favreau was in "ripped" mode by then...still....I could have had a knife on me....- finally deciding to continue walking, after a while he drove past in his "fuck-you!-in-a-good-way" Maserati down 34th street and made a u-turn by the fountain to head back out the entrance.

I attempted my best casual wave thing....it must have looked like I was flicking some gum off my wrist...I doubt he saw me or let alone remembered me from the class...and I watched him drive away.

I don't know what his music choice was for that ride home to whatever palatial pad he so richly deserves that night, but in my head he got on the 10 at Hoover, looked at that L.A. skyline and busted out the Sabbath.

Or SOME kick-ass -"My Life Rules" song. Some song that would be really....."money".


Yeaaaahhh, didn't think I'd go there, didja?


Well, I did, cause that's what its all about. Iron Man to Elf to mansions and the Mas, all came from one tiny movie he wrote that told a story about a guy who couldn't get over a girl.

Now THAT'S money.

Thanks USC! #TopFive!


-MK