ASH'D UP

Maybe its the Catholic guilt of leaving friends and family or just because today's a day where I really do feel the sense of distance between LA and Chicago, but for some reason I like writing on the annual Lent kick off "party" known as Ash Wednesday.

It may also be because I like sharing my Lenten fasting....thing, because if I tell people about it, there's a better chance I'll see it through.

Though, admittedly, my track record is not exactly stellar (remember the 40 for 40 promise?) but it still makes me feel worse when I fail, if that helps.

I always have struggled in the 'What to Give Up" department because, honestly, I like what I like and I don't want to stop liking what I like and not like it anymore. Make sense? Of course not.

But, actually, this year, I took a good look and didn't see many options as to what my fasting sacrifice could be for two reasons, both stemming from the same issue - I'm in film school, graduating in less than 70 days and I need to figure shit out like T-Pain needs auto-tuning.

Desperately.

So here's the rub - 2 of my biggest "vices" - TV and Facebook - are directly tied to my attempt to make a career happen: I need the 'Book to promote The Sin Bin over the next few weeks and I need to watch TV because, well, I want to write for TV. Doesn't do a painter much good to give up looking at things for Lent, does it?

And, in all honesty, I've said "so long" to a couple of vices in Lent years past that arent a big part of my life anymore, most notably - smoking and fast food. I'm not chomping enough Big Macs or puffing enough Padrons to justify anything - giving either of those up would be like Charlie Sheen giving up reality - that waved bye-bye a loooooong time ago.

So, that brings us to the NCAA powerhouse of beverages in my life - the ACC

or: Alcohol, Coffee, and Coca-Cola.

In addition to explaining last year why I don't want to give up Coke, the rational is trumped by the whole "career" thing in that I need those two "C" word beverages to keep me going on these sleepless nights and early mornings. Sure, I could try and go all "tea and Mountain Dew" the next 40 days, but I see that doing more harm than good.

And then there's the big "A"....well....

how the hell am I supposed to RELAX at the end of the day after guzzling Coke and coffee for every other meal?

Usually, I'm so jittery by 11pm that if I try to handwrite anything it looks like Michael J Fox was composing a letter on the Batman ride at Six Flags.

Plus, "A" is another big part of LA industry life....part of the big shmooze. Have a few casual meetings and whatevers coming up, so the lifestyle and the liquid courage come in mighty handy.

So, I'd like to make all these things part of my fasting eventually...like when I have a JOB or whatever, but it'd be just too much unnecessary stress right now.

So, my total puss-out of a Lent plan is start with baby steps and not be such a dumb$*%# when it comes to the whole "Meat on Fridays" thing. In years past I usually forget about "No Meat Fridays" until after I've already started the day with a Sausage McMuffin and a bacon shake.

THEN, I get so paranoid about cutting the meat that I order three times as much non-meat food so I don't feel hungry, and I'm pretty sure that devouring 3 cheese quesadillas with a garbage bag of nacho chips isn't exactly how this thing is supposed to work.

Also going to try and actually get to church on a more regular basis. That seems more important than what soft drink I guzzle while watching my favorite shows about sin written by a bunch of atheists.

Ahhh, hypocrisy - where would I be without you?

So, yeah, that's my plan for Lent this year - stay focused on the basics. Shouldn't be too hard, I think LA is the vegetarian capitol of something, right?

It is an interesting mix we face, the L.A. Catholic - can an exquisitely delicious sushi plate that costs $21.99 be considered "fasting"?

I dunno, is Charlie Sheen #winning?


Well, whatever. I'm doing it anyway!

Makes me think - WWJO? .......What Would Jesus Order?

hmmm.......there it is....

One Red Dragon Roll, please!

No Miso soup, though - I'm fasting!


MK