The Chronicles of Twitter - Part I: WHAT THE TWEET?

I think that at long last I should discuss my newest "hobby" and why there is seems to be a confusing and often unintelligible "Twitter Box" on the right hand side ----> of the blog homepage...for those who've noticed and actually VISIT the homepage.

I explored Twitter a year ago because a classmate (the one classmate who is sure to rocket to success while the rest of us are spending our post-grad days giving Paul Rudd a copy of our script when we "bump into him" at the doctor's office. In the doctors office. Okay, fine, its a costume I'm not really a doctor) went to CANNES and was going to share the experience via the newfangled TWITTER.

I got on. I followed. I was entertained by Coog. I didn't get Twitter. Cannes ended. I was done.

Recently a professor was going to another film festival and said we could follow her on Twitter while she was there. By now I'd seen a few more friends hop on the Tweetwagon AND was really blown away to find out that a writer could get a TV SHOW on a REAL, LIVE, NON-NBC NETWORK with the whole @shitmydadsays thing.

So, in the spirit of absolutely shameless self-promotion (caused by being in the business I'm in and the general milieu of my generation) I got on "back" Twitter this September.

This time around, I figured it out. I figured out the value of Twitter, or more specifically, why I valued Twitter. And embraced it.

The thing that separates Twitter from Facebook [and by the way, for the older, not quite "plugged in" family members, things are about ready to get very advanced tech-speak wise. Unless you recently saw "The Social Network", you may just want to click over to AOL.com and read the most recent story about a farm-town someone who did something.] - anyway, the thing that separates Twitter from Facebook is that, when used effectively, Twitter can be a valuable and entertaining stream of comical quips and breaking news rather than an endless droning of Event Invites, Status Updates, and the 1,000,000th tagged picture of someone drinking with friends.

We get it! We all like to go out and drink, myself ESPECIALLY SO, are we really in need of THIS level of documentation? Why are you showing me this?

Sorry bout that angry rant, but its the kind of thing that living a Facebook-filled life spawns. Twitter doesn't make me angry, know why? Because I get to choose who I follow on Twitter. I'm not socially obligated to follow someone on Twitter just because I see them every day. You're a dick if you reject a friend request but nobody gives a crap if you dont follow them on Twitter.

Because I get to choose, the people I follow on Twitter are INFINITELY more interesting the vast majority of my FB friends. I mostly keep an eye on people in entertainment, especially funny people....to name a few: JUDD APATOW, AZIZ ANSARI, MATT WALSH, AUBREY PLAZA, ADAM MCKAY, DAN HARMON, ERIC STONESTREET... oh!, and

STEVE MARTIN

This guy has found his 21st century banjo. Steve Martin sees Twitter for the ridiculous time wasting entity that it is and just goes with it. Irreverent, funny stuff.

But, yeah, these are writers, directors, TV showrunners, actors...all people I want to be or be working with sometime soon. They tweet about being on set or writing a new script and, if they do tweet something inane about what they had for breakfast or they're going on a vacation, THEY TOSS A JOKE IN THERE!

I also keep up with some news guys, some sports guys, and the occasional ridiculous celebrity (I did start following Ashton finally but really only because he gives great BEARS shout-outs. Represent.).

Now, another plus is that this Twitter thing can be purely observational or interactive. You can follow tons of people and trends and never once offer up a Tweet, Twit, or Twat. Or you can get involved.

I like to get involved.

Without going into too much detail - because who really cares that much? - (said the guy writing a lengthy treatise on Twitter...hypocrisy much?) - but w/out going into a lot of detail I'll just say that I like to Tweet for really 2 reasons.

#1. To use it as my own personal AP wire service to let people who might be interested know when I'm up to something that's worth mentioning ie: I'm coming back to Chicago today...we're launching our webseries today....I was at a Cubs game and met Vince Vaughn who liked my script and he's gonna attach himself and then he introduced me to Mila Kunis who thinks I'm funny and we're taking a trip to the Greek Isles today...(HYPOTHETICAL EVENTS SOME MAY NOT HAVE ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!)

#2. To share something, either that I came up with or that someone else Tweeted, that is going to hopefully be funny or interesting or exciting and bring a tiny ray of sunshine into an otherwise miserable day.

And that's it.

If any of y'all ever see a Tweet come up that sounds like my head is up my ass (more than usual) or like I've been spending a little too much time in the harmful skin-baking rays of L.A.'s sun, please let me know - please put it on the blog and say "THIS IS A BAD TWEET. NO! BAD SOCIAL NETWORKER/BLOGGER! STOP IT!"

Its the only way I'll learn.

Now, because Twitter is such a phenomenon - and who doesn't love a good phenomenon? - I've got at least one more MGH post on Twitter. And if THIS post didn't make you want to jump on the Twitter bandwagon, then the NEXT one surely will.

And if the NEXT post doesn't make you want to jump on Twitter, then you probably won't jump on Twitter.

And that's fine.

You probably live a richer and more fulfilling life than I.

Kudos.

STAY TUNED for Part II: THE GREATEST STORY EVER TWEETED